deception

last week I felt so restful
so whole
in purpose, in opportunity

my sense of self returning
the breadth of torso
all the things in it

coming back from that shrinking sucking edge



I was deceived
you bitch you deceived me

we deceived ourselves

this could be a GREAT emo song

I have had a hard time
getting this right
nothing supernatural
is shedding it's light

catastrophe is what it took to make me see
that anything good inside has never been me

shaving off the sick skin
in petals of red
surely not the first time
it's come to my head

catastrophe puckering wrinkles of despair
there is nothing else here nothing to spare

when there's a stillness
unfocus my eyes
I know this is not bliss
it's just getting high

catastrophe more profound than i've ever known
took away my future what I thought was my own