Mean little mind.

I had an extremely chill weekend, and damn, it was fine.

We went to my P's house, and the boy helped them plot out the steps to a beautiful patio in front of the new shed. He's going to help them do it up right and get them contractor deals and stuff if he can. I love that they love him, and value him and his opinions.

I saw the ex last tuesday night, and I was pretty much half in the bag. I was embarrassed and kind of upset afterwards, and ended up crawling down to the end of that stinking bag to escape it. I felt horrible the next day, but went into work anyway, feeling stupid and sorry for myself. I talked (read: IMed/Emailed) with a couple of friends and they were both really supportive.

The best thing was "...just don't think about it too much. it doesn't matter what he thinks. you're happy. you have a ton of friends and a great boyfriend. that's all that matters." That pretty much bitch-slapped me out of my rut of self pity and mortification.

I realized that it's totally true. I DO have a bunch great friends, I DO have a great boy, and that really IS all that matters. I was stressed out about who he was making disparaging remarks to about me, and her comment made me realize: The only people he was barking to were people that I don't know, I don't care about anymore, or don't care about me. So really.... who cares?

He can have his fun making nasty comments about my weight, or how drunk I was on a school night, or the other myriad things I'm sure his mean little mind was putting away for later perusal and disgorgement. He can go ahead and do that, because he doesn't affect me anymore.

I've never before had the kind of relationship that I have now. I've never had the circle of real friends that I have now. I have an awesome relationship with my Parents and my Sister. I have it really good. I'm not going to let him spoil it for one more second.